Not just at New Year…

Resolutions can start any time.

The turning of the calendar from one year to the next has always been a time of reflection and hope. We spend the days summing up past experiences, bidding farewell to those we have lost, renewing old friendships, making plans and resolutions, and expressing our hopes for the future. “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice,” said T. S. Eliot. Once again as we stand on the threshold of a new year and it’s a time for a new beginning for all of us.

The month of January is named after the Roman God Janus (although the Romans celebrated New Year on what is now 25 March). The Romans imagined Janus as two faced: one facing forward and the other backwards. This symbolized his ability to look forward and backward at the same time. Janus was the guardian of arches, gates, doorways, beginnings, and endings. When the year starts with January, it compels us to look back and mull over the previous year’s failures and accomplishments, therefore offering us an insight into what we need to change about ourselves. It could be a habit, a lifestyle change, a behavioral change or setting a particular goal for oneself. Thus begins an ordeal of listing New Year resolutions.

But others start their new year at different times, either representing an official calendar year or a time celebrating fresh beginnings: the Lunar Year, Nowruz (normally, 21 March), in Thailand, Ethiopia (based on a solar calendar based on the Egyptian and Julian calendars, consisting of 12 months of 30 days with a 13th month of five or six days), India and Israel.

So, a new year can start at any time, including now.

But instead of making a long list, let us decide to pick the one big thing that we care about most. This sounds easier to accomplish and the more we get focused by putting our stakes into the ground about this year’s dream, we will feel more accountable for fulfilling it. So let’s begin a new year by getting creative about that one dream. As Eliot so correctly put it, “In my end is my beginning.”

Love, Deep Connection, Business partnership & Friendship...these are beautiful feelings I think. One of the greatest aspects of all these beautiful emotions or feelings is mutual respect in the exchange between two people, something usually arises when one knows how to respect themselves. One thing a lot of us forget in our pursuit of LOVE and Deep Connection is the Love and Connection we need to cultivate within ourselves.

I don't like the cliché phrase “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else," because then it seems like loving yourself is a chore you have to do to get this other thing, rather than it just being something you should be doing anyway, so that it can just eventually serve love.

So, what does loving yourself mean? This means for me is not twisting yourself in knots for a person who is not showing you affection that you deserve. This means making sure you are with someone who allows you to continue to evolve and feel whole on your own. This means taking the steps to evolve and feel whole on your own. The more you do that, the more you cultivate the inner strength, so that you don't stake your well-being on what someone else does.

Love - true, deep and healthy love - is also something that is built by two people. And it takes time. So, if you have found that you have a connection with someone, allow that time to deepen things without the need to figure out what the ending is.

When you allow your mind to stay in the present, and you are solid enough in yourself and your own life that you know wherever it leads, you will still be solid in yourself and your own life, then you open up a beautiful universe to you and the other person, where you can evolve together, expanding upon the beauty that's already being tended to in one another.

One of my favorite authors, Tom Robbins, wrote “When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on - serial polygamy - until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."

True, deep and healthy love also allows you to feel your best, most empowered self. So, let’s talks of connection with another, use it in this moment to ask how connected you feel with yourself. I promise you the fulfillment you cultivate with the love of yourself will allow you to feel the most profound love later on.

We have come so far in our journey, but when we look up we see more hills and steep mountains to climb. May we always have the strength to keep on advancing until we get to our destination. Any new start offers another 365 or 366 days to offer. Work towards maintaining a balance and harmony between your personal and professional life, between your virtual and personal space, and see what happens.

Nishant R

Nishant R is constantly in pursuit of enhancing his spiritual journey and spreading 'Light and Love'.